Not to return to Uni at a later date

In a post from about a year ago, I described how I would publish work to this blog and prepare for a return to Uni, but things didn’t happen like that. I didn’t go back. For lots of different reasons. Only one being fear – a fear that I would end up really unhappy again. So I chose to be happy, yet people still look at me like a child and “reassure” me that “you will go back to Uni at *some point*”. A lot of things contributed to my first year at uni being my last, but unhappiness was at the crux of it all. I have been so unhappy that I took a scalpel to my arm, not to try to die, but to try to feel pain. Not feel better, but feel pain. I didn’t even want to be happy. And sometimes I get feelings that feel insidiously akin to the ones I felt in my room at Dundee University. (more…)


5 Things Cis People Can Actually Do For Trans People (Now That You Care About Us)

The (Trans)cendental Tourist

It’s been a weird year for trans people.

Allow me to be more specific: It’s been a heated, daring, tumultuous, graphic, specularizing, aggressive, pointed,contentious, highlyfatal, and really, really complicated year for trans people.

Here are a few examples: Kristina Gomez Reinwald, Ty Underwood, Lamia Beard, and many othertranswomen of color have been brutally murdered at the hands of lovers, family members, and strangers.Meanwhile,Laverne Cox and Janet Mock have come to fame and exhibited incrediblefeats of grace, articulation, and poignancy under the gaze ofan eager media. Blake Brockington, Leelah Alcorn, Taylor Alesana, and many other transgender youth have committed suicide afterenduring endless bullying and systematic brutality. Meanwhile, Jazz Jennings became the new face of Clean & Clear and published a children’s picture book about her life, and teen trans couple Arin Andrews and KatieHill (best known for “Can You Even Believe They’re Trans?!” types of headlines) wrote and published individual books…

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I don’t like this skeleton video everyone keeps posting around..


Ok this video featuring dancing skeletons has been making the rounds lately. It makes me very uncomfortable at best, and furiously angry at worst. Here is a vague account of some of the reasons why. As always, remember that this is my blog and I am representing my opinion. I am not a spokesperson for all queer/LGBT+ people; nor am I here to represent all disabled people.

This video covers a lot of things, including sexuality, race, disability and age. I am a white bisexual transgender person. I’m also disabled because I have a whole collection of mental health difficulties. I will thus be using sexuality, gender identity and disability as my examples throughout this because I am not qualified to talk about race or racism. I also focus more on sexuality/gender identity because I haven’t really worked out why the disability aspect of this video makes me so uncomfortable yet.

1. “I don’t…

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Since I have left Uni (to return at a later date)

I hope to try to keep my mind active and encourage productivity by writing about anything and everything I can HERE: on this blog.

It is definitely turning into a personal blog and is something I am quite comfortable with right now.

While doing this I am also endeavoring to live a more natural and healthy lifestyle. And, NO, this will not involve weight-loss.

I am going to try to do more to help the planet in my choices of products and my activities. This will be recorded here, NOT to make anyone feel guilt-tripped into changing anything, but for others to gain only ideas and laughter from (positive things).

I will also try to collect together learning which will help me when I go back to University – this may include money-saving ideas in preparation for being highly strapped for cash throughout my university career.

50 Shades of Grey

I went to see this film last night and some of my thoughts are presented below. I am going to assume that the acromyns/words/phrases/ 50SoG, BDSM and Character’s names will be recognised (NOT due to the film’s support, but due to it’s heavy presence in the media). I shall treat this as a film-review, but will, hopefully, discuss some of the themes in more depth at some point.

Spoiler alert!

Trigger Warning: Sex, Abuse, 50 SHADES OF GREY.


Cissexism and Monosexuality

First of all: This Blog’s writer is a very intelligent person whose work is well worth reading if you want to be well informed. Some of the contents of this post has been on my mind lately – especially the need NOT to assign certain things like penises and periods to one gender. It’s NOT when “girl’s get their periods”, but, rather, “when people get their periods”. I am trying to bring this to the forefront of my consciousness of late as I realise that to say otherwise is incorrect at its simplest and down-right rude at its worst. Trans, non-binary people exist and deserve the same respect, rights, support and care that cis-people get. There is a long way to go in the journey to a more inclusive future and, right now, too many transgender and non-binary people are suffering at the hands of mass ignorance. For one person to suffer would be too much.
The world is larger and more beautiful than you may have first thought – and there is no downside to that (that I can see), so educate yourself and embrace others and how varied and amazing they are.


This is the transcript for Tedx style talk I gave this evening about monsexuality and cissexism. It isn’t nearly as coherent and structured as I aim for my blogs to be, because it was a talk and I tend to add things in and digress from notes when I talk. But I thought I’d post the transcript anyway because some of the points are important and valid. I’ve only edited to delete the paragraphs from the talk that were advertising for upcoming events, the rest is just the same. It definitely worked better as a talk than as an article, so I may return and edit it into a blog at some point. Or record it as a talk. But in the meantime, here it is. 🙂

*Tw: discusses cissexism/transphobia, mentions violence against trans people*

Hey everyone. My name is Jai. In my talk today, I’m going to explore the…

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University 2

A lot happened between “University 1” and now.

For the sake of it all, I hope that I have learned something and come out a better person for it, but there is a realistic possibility that this isn’t the case. In fact there is a chance that I am more like I was when I was younger and dumber and crazier. (more…)

University 1

One week today, I will arrive at Dundee University. I will live in halls on the campus for weeks on end and have to be completely independent – I will get myself up and out of the door in the morning, cook for myself and do my own laundry. I am trying to make this easier for myself with what I pack, but even then it is still going to be a shock to my system.

While we all WANT independence, it also scares us – what if we aren’t good at it? What if we fail? (more…)